Recovery

Madi stayed in the hospital for 14 days. She was in the ICU for 10 days. Every day was rough. As her mommy, I wanted what she wanted. She hated all of the tubes in her nose and throat. She hated the catheter. She hated the crib bed. Each day we made strides to get better. She had a post op MRI which showed cancer in the spinal cord and fluid. She couldn't keep anything down. She was vomitting constantly. Once they moved her out of the ICU, she became incoherent because she threw up her steroid which was helping to reduce the swelling. My husband had to chase down the doctors because she was doing so badly. They moved her into the ICU again. We had many restless nights. Sleeping in an upright chair while pregnant is not comfortable. The nuerosurgeon took off her bandages, cleaned her dressing and found that she was getting a bed sore. It was at this point that I took on a nurse roll. We had to get out of the hospital. If she could keep anything down, we were free to go. We tried every anti-nausea medicine and finally found Zofran. A few hours later, Madi asked for a donut and did't throw it up! On July 16th, we got to go home.

Saturday, July 2, 2005- Madi's diagnosis and first 24 hours.

After weeks of her throwing up and waiting for the doctors, I took Madi in again to the doctor. With Daddy in Virginia at a teaching conference and me being 9 weeks pregnant, I couldn't take it anymore. I asked my parents for their advice and they said I should take her in to the doctor. Within an hour we had a 1:30 appointment. My dad drove us. I dropped Hunter off with my brother-in-law and sister at church as they were leaving from VBS. We saw the doctor. She did the same neurological tests that were done on the 23rd of June. At this point, Madi had lost 6pounds in a week. Her neurological tests were perfect, her eyes looked perfect. The doctor ordered a CAT scan just to rule out the worst case senario. I couldn't go in with Madi because I was pregnant, so my dad went in with her. He said she lay perfectly still for 20 minutes. They injected contrast into her bloodstream through the IV they put in after two tries. The Radiologist was called into the CAT Scan room and my dad could tell something was not right. The CAT scan showed a large tumor in her brain. I couldn't believe my 3 year old daughter had a tumor. The doctor called the paramedics and we were on our way to LA. I needed to call daddy, but the hotel phone number was at our house. My dad and I made some very difficult phone calls telling family and friends the horrible news. We tried holding back the tears, but we couldn't. The parametics arrived and took us to LA. My dad went back home to pick up my mom and go by our house to get the phone number to call daddy. I remember following the steps of the paramedic. I was lost. I didn't know where we were, I couldn't get a hold of my husband, my father and mother-in-law, my best friends or my sister. I didn't understand what the doctors were saying. I was in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit meeting the Doctors that would treat her. The Neurosurgeon talked with me about the CAT scan. He showed me where the tumor was and how the rest of her brain was affected by this. The surgeon told me that it was cancer and she had a 50% survival rate. He said her vomitting was related to the increased pressure of CSF on the brain. If he felt it necessary, he would put a drain in her brain to release the pressure. He scheduled surgery to remove the tumor for Tuesday, so we were left to wait. My parents came with their friends Orville and Nancy. My mom decided to stay the night with us. My brother-in-law also came. we talked about the unexpected, waiting until Tuesday, hoping my husband would arrive soon and prayed. My mom slept in the waiting room while I tried to sleep in a chair in the ICU. Madi threw up every 45 minutes all night long. At 5:00 am., I asked Nurse Rose if I could hold Madi. Her vital signs were slipping. Her heart rate was 30-40 bpm. She was pale, almost transluscent. My mom came in at 6:00. Madi was pulling our handfuls of hair, stretching our and breathing very slowly. My mom was very concerned. I felt like I was losing my little girl. I was holding a lifeless body. I asked if she would sing with me. I sang two songs with her. She would take a deep breath and with all her might, let out a faint "la" as I sang Jesus Loves Me. After we sang the songs, I asked a nurse if I was just suppose to hold her and watch her die. Once they noticed how bad she was doing, they immediately took her limp body from my arms and told me she was in a coma. The neurosurgeon came right then and did an emergency stent procedure to release the pressure. Right there, in the ICU bed, they performed surgery on Madi with no anesthesia because there was not enough time to take her to the OR. Once the procedure was over, the pressure was released and she was back. During the procedure, my friends Deb and Karlee, and my brother-in-law, Andy, came. I tried to call my husband, but he was already on the plane. The doctor told me that he would be taking Madi in for her surgery because we couldn't wait until Tuesday. She regained consciousness and I was able to see her. Her blond hair was now gone. We spent time crying and praying with Madi. All we could do was pray. It was Sunday morning, our church hung onto every update and at this time hundreds of people were praying. My mom and I walked Madi down to the operating room and left her for surgery, major brain surgery. We were unsure of the outcome. By this time, Grandpa, Grandma, Hunter, Jason, Paul, Dawn, Nate, Karissa, Caleb, Roger, and the Alexandru family filled with waiting room. I have never felt so helpless for so many long hours. During the surgery, my husband was able to call during his lay over. We told him about the emergency surgery and was devastated. Surgery went well. The surgeon told us he removed as much as he could and she would now need to follow up with cancer treatments. After the surgery, I saw Madi, she looked confused. She was in pain and scared. Her recovery from the surgery began. God had his hand in every little detail. He was one step ahead. With Daddy gone, I was only focused on her. He had allowed us to be in the ICU at the right time. With God, there are no accidents.